Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Hattie and her fascination with Private Parts

Start of new crap 10/17

she can be who she wants especially with Collin Hart, whose pubic hairs have been shaved because of blowing bubbles and from the same fake review Joyce can take notes while she entices her lover's blood to be 100 percent inside his unthinking head and from the same fake review There are three ultra hot erotic romances that star interesting somewhat taciturn females chucking their inhibitions for one night of tucking, sucking and "F...ing" with hunky players link
Karo's triangle between the British hunk haunting her heart and the S&M spiritual expert advising her how to use her vagina makes for a lighthearted fun frolic link
end of new crap 10/17
Start of new crap 10/8

His plan is simple; hide his sexual needs from Jordan for as long as possible so that maybe they will bond before his lower head takes command of his body. link

The next to die is politician Victoria Heinerback crucified in her bed with a copy of the Koran partially shoved up her vagina. link

he thinks he better make up his mind as Connie has his heart and upper head, but Deandra owns his lower head link

Soon the siblings compete as rivals trying to out pleasure each other by winning Jake's special rewards especially vying for his undivided lower head attention. link

The three goddesses conclude that the fighting is all about male penises, the prime organ in man's superego And, in the same fake review the only way to get him to stop fighting is occupy his penis with a woman who will keep the blood rage from turning him into a berserker warrior. link

This is a fun travelogue as Mr. Horowitz' enthusiasm and energy add to the enjoyment; quoting Mr. Wuhl: "I shit you not". link

Anya kisses Lucien and tells him she wants his penis. link

This is an engaging lighthearted farcical Noir look at the nastier side of Japan through the eyes of a beguiling rascal who can be summed up by his self deprecating observation that women see his penis as a lobster fest link

Concerned over how easily her two male companions have been sexually entranced, Jewel goes deep undercover to end the siren enchantment of sexual harassment that leaves pathetic men like Clay and Randy thinking with their lower heads and women stars of the grope. link

Carmen keeps placing her big beautiful body around him leading to all his blood clotting in his lower head link

End of new crap 10/8
Start of new crap 10/4

However, practical sex education with her peers from both genders looks so yesterday when she wants to go monogamous with big Ben, but only if she gains his heart as much as his penis link

Bets occur over who will end up with whose penis link

He suffers third degree burns that are so painful he decides that the recovery is not worth it as he believes even coke will fail him especially since he accidentally poured bourbon on his crotch just before the crash; thus turning the alcohol into an accelerant that made his penis into a candle that the nurse has since disposed of as medical waste. And, from the same fake review: Her details of a long time ago convince the former porn star she is genuine although he wonders if losing his penis cost him his head. link

William feels like he has three (his natural hardened sword) and often four (his metallic sword) legs link

When he overhears their locker room style jokes about him being a girlie, Linc wonders if he lost his penis. link

whether it is penis harassment or penal coding she never loses it link

This is a fabulous erotic late Regency romance starring an interesting unique lead female who uses men as her tool and fool until Jasper turns her concept of the male having all thoughts in the lower head upside down link

The lead couple is a delightful pairing as Roxie goes all out to seduce Nick, but though he has a permanent hard on for her, he refuses to let the lower head do his thinking especially while working a murder investigation link

His upper head is embarrassed by his sexual musing, but the libido of his lower head is rock solid link

End of new crap 10/4

start of new crap 9/28

who discovers the ecstasy of first hand (tongue, etc) vaginal research link
a twice divorced mother of two (Tag and Jordie) at the bar she works as her first ex says in a "tits for tips" job link
His confident since early puberty is his stand erect penis who always talks back link

She does no care about revising her dead marriage as she knows it collapsed due to her cheating spouse's wandering penis link
Unlike his partner wallowing in the piss past link

unless he can overcome his lower head need for his new Mistress link
as he rides with more blood in his lower head than his upper head link

He goes to the bar and abducts her; taking her into the San "Bernfuckadino" Mountains. link

end of new crap 9/28


start of new crap 9/27

This may be the worst one yet:

Over the top of Telegraph Hill, make that Coit Tower as being more symbolic, these heated novellas star experienced women who make the penises of men salivate. OURS FOR THE NIGHT contains three equatorial hot erotic tales that can be summed up by Noelle's friend Isabel who suggests she try bukkake with five to six men jacking off on her naked body instead of vanilla ice cream. Fans of erotica that run the gamut will enjoy spending the night with these courtesans. link

Not for everyone but more than just for those penis envy wanting to play the Game link

His head tells him to keep going as no good deed goes unpunished; but his lower head wins the debate link

SASHA is a terrific lead character struggling with the hostilities while also being a cock-sure combatant link

The story line is fast-paced from the opening scene when he rescues her and she accuses him of the "penis-eye thing" and never looks back (pun intended). link

She and her new BFFs (the profanity queen and the retired porn star) bring humorous withering condemnations of Southern California especially men who think with their lower head like Xander. link

This one is so bad, I put the entire fake review in here (and I thought the other one was the worst):
 
In Phoenix half-breed Dr. Kiera Matthews meets with diminutive Council member Danen to argue that it past time for the Cunts to go for peace with the Klatch. A quarter of a century ago the clan split into civil war and now the Cunts hide amongst humans with Kiera their only medical practitioner. He calls her a traitor just like her purebred mom; irate she kicks his butt in with moves she learned from her human military father.

The stranger watches her take out the arrogant counselor and his two guards. He applauds her skills even as she never believed in love at first sight, but now accepts lust at first sight. Ryan is the Prince of Klatch and recognizes Kiera as his mate, the Healer who will bring the divided clan back together, which is her life goal dedicated to her late mom. As a being who thrives on sexual energy, he knows she is the one because his dreams have changed from dark hair to a specific blonde. However, though she relishes the heights of passion he brings to her, she has doubts that a Halfbreed can be destiny's darling for the Klatch and the Cunts.

The third "Seduction" erotic romantic science fiction (see VISIONS OF SEDUCTION and CEREMONY OF SEDUCTION) is a terrific thriller with some paranormal elements enhancing the exciting story line. The lead couple is a delightful pairing in and out of the boudoir as they feed off of each other while also encouraging one another. Readers will be seduced by Cassie Ryan's enticing sexual healing (Marvin Gaye style) "Seduction" science fiction saga. link


end of new crap 9/27

Found a couple more:

These three fun erotic novellas are tied together by undergarments and plenty of sex although the story lines are thin (except for the lead males' lower heads. link

Toni is a fascinating protagonist who has Grey wrapped around her finger with a string tied to his penis link

Just thought I'd put these all in one place.

Found a few more:

even Mr. Johnson tells him to take it easy on his lower head link

Although the plot is much thinner than Dierk's full blooded lower head link

These are three entertaining heated eroticas with diverse fully developed women and men who are one dimensional - penis only. link

The latest Wells' spy thriller is more a whodunit except for the penis envy testosterone wars between the American spy agencies Link

Well written, Sexaholics is an entertaining erotica that focuses on the destructiveness of being out of control when 24/7 your vagina controls your brain Link

but that brazened beauty keeps him thinking with his lower head link

Now his former ménage partners (Amber and Luke) persuade Jay to come to the Dusky Doll because he remains hard (heart and penis) at the thought of Beverly link

Still those who do not suffer from penis envy or puke at the sight of vomit will laugh at this dark slapstick horror thriller link
end of new stuff.

However, except for the obvious bulge of his lower head, he conceals the toys he plans to use with his guest Link

Insatiable is an entertaining erotic paranormal starring three underdeveloped (except in the males' lower heads) protagonists Link

He knows to keep his distance and use his upper brain, but he cannot as all his blood is flowing within his lower head Link

While Marcus seeks swords, Cithrin dressed as a boy with his first moustache and a "swinging penis" Link

perhaps puking once or twice on his lower head would have brought realism to the lusty encounters Link

Raylene meets the brother Adrian, a former SEAL turned drag queen with no obvious place to tuck in his lower head Link

she wants intimacy with him and he cannot stop the blood flow to his lower head Link

Driving the carriage under the influence led to an accident that left Walfort a paraplegic unable to move his legs and as he informs Ainsley his penis Link

Even with the BDSM encounters preoccupying his lower head, Wade leaves some blood in his upper head as he never loses sight of his missions to win Sarah's heart (he has her vagina) and to end a predator's terrorizing of his beloved Sub Link

The satirical urban fantasy lampoons testosterone heroes as they get into a penis contest to determine who the female amongst them is Link
He knows to keep his distance but cannot while fearing his lower head may cost the case. Link

In San Francisco, Alice O'Brien lost her secretarial job for failing to understand sucking her boss' penis is major duty number one. Link

He walks outside onto a beach to get away from super-powered a-holes, but the object of his penis follows him Link

her protector Uncle Danny sexually abuses his seven year old niece Alessa by placing his fingers into her vagina Link

Ines, recently having found a love note in his briefcase, assumes his office emergency is for his lower head as they have not slept tighter in a month or so Link

Raymond rationalizes her dumping him without warning as a "penis panic" attack on her part Link

believes she lack a key element in obtaining the position: a penis. Link

Christian and Mrs. Smith are fully-developed (beyond just his lower head) Link

The story line is thin (except for Mark's lower head) Link

none of the characters are full blooded except for the males' lower heads Link

Jake is an immature individual who thinks with his lower head only Link

except for the lower heads of the two Doms) Link

Dane pledges to his partners he will not use his penis with their clients Link

enjoy sexual pleasures especially during the full moon ritual when their second lower head sprouts Link

Harry can only think with his lower head Link

The key to this engaging love fest is that the lead trio is each full blooded and not just in the engorged penises Link

The lead pair is an intriguing coupling as Alexei's hardened heart is superseded by his hardened lower head Link

thus she must work his lower head Link

though his lower head argues with his upper head Link

The full blooded (not just the lower head) cast makes these two enjoyable erotic romances; as Maya Banks makes the MFM relationships seem real even with a blue-blooded penis while Lauren Dane provides a "Delicious" BDSM romance. Link

Though sexual views seem antiquated yet ironically timely with the Vagina War Link
 

the three males (including a current BF) competing for the title of "Master of Her Vagina" Link
 

Mr. Heinlein would have enjoyed mocking vagina politics Link

20 comments:

Sneaky Burrito said...

Well...I recognized ONE of the books on this list from the character names. I've read it (The Dragon's Path by Daniel Abraham) and naturally, HK's description is WAY off.

It's not a military fantasy, first of all (her "review" title). Well, I guess there are some soldiers, but it's not one of those books that's fixated on accurate details of warfare. And it's mostly about banking and squabbles among nobles with some travel and a weird religious cult thrown in for good measure.

And second of all, Cithrin dressing as a boy in no way has anything to do with a "swinging penis." Seriously. She goes out of her way to avoid getting close to anyone while she's disguised. That term just doesn't make ANY sense to include in an Amazon review of this book.

But, I'm sure this comes as a surprise to none of the readers of this blog.

Beachmama said...

Holy chocolate cheesecake Batman!

I think one of us should sign on to Amazon with a fake account and see how long we would last if we used the word penis in a review; except in relation to a book on male anatomy. Or discussed sucking off; unless in reference to a popsicle stick.

Harriet’s sick obsession with upper and lower heads makes her either a phallophilia or peniholic. LOL. No there actually is a word for someone with her preoccupation; I suspect more with lowers heads than upper ones:

Mentulomania
1. An excessive interest in the penis

I think it’s obvious that she has a severe case of penis envy, a potty mouth and isn’t getting any action. When would she have time?

Malleus said...

Ahaha, this is great. Buck210, I admire your persistence and deliberate approach. We've known that Frau Klau is partial to cheap porn, but to assemble a demonstration of this sort! This has never been done before, to the best of my knowledge. Actually, I'll take my "cheap porn" back -- nothing wrong with cheap porn. It's just funny that an elderly librarian, with a Master's of some sort, would be posting something so idiotic and vulgar as this crap. But she's been doing it forever, her endless little vignettes on "lower head", etc. From a sixty-year-old lady with a college degree and graduate studies? Ha.

buck210 said...

Here's another one, forgot it in the original post.

but assumes he is back in a shitload of trouble http://www.amazon.com/review/R3FOFUUWBJKQHS/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1439171564#wasThisHelpful

Embee said...

Beachmama,

Too funny by half!

Even so, I believe it goes deeper than mentulomania. For starters, we can add megalomania, too.

She has impressed herself with her own intelligence and self-importance to the point that she may feel removed from the rest of the world. Her rank generalities about all classes and types of humanity, without a nuance of compassion, is an expression of that self-perception.

I think she's seriously depraved and doesn't know it. Why else would anyone write the offensive and tasteless garbage that she does, yet have no idea how repulsive it is? In fact, it's seriously unprofessional and slightly scary.

Embee said...

Buck,

This is short and sweet. New word to add to your list.

"Tup". She is used it. She did. It's British slang for the "f" bomb.

buck210 said...

I did a quick search of everything I have collected so far and found no other occurrences of "tup".

I'll keep it as part of my search criteria.

buck210 said...

I found a few more and posted them.

buck210 said...

Found a couple more

These three fun erotic novellas are tied together by undergarments and plenty of sex although the story lines are thin (except for the lead males' lower heads. http://www.amazon.com/review/R1H720UQK2OCDA/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0758238282#wasThisHelpful

Toni is a fascinating protagonist who has Grey wrapped around her finger with a string tied to his penis http://www.amazon.com/review/RO2AJG9F2SDB5/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0451228030#wasThisHelpful

Embee said...

She is DISGUSTING!!

buck210 said...

More new stuff.

In Phoenix half-breed Dr. Kiera Matthews meets with diminutive Council member Danen to argue that it past time for the Cunts to go for peace with the Klatch. A quarter of a century ago the clan split into civil war and now the Cunts hide amongst humans with Kiera their only medical practitioner. He calls her a traitor just like her purebred mom; irate she kicks his butt in with moves she learned from her human military father.

The stranger watches her take out the arrogant counselor and his two guards. He applauds her skills even as she never believed in love at first sight, but now accepts lust at first sight. Ryan is the Prince of Klatch and recognizes Kiera as his mate, the Healer who will bring the divided clan back together, which is her life goal dedicated to her late mom. As a being who thrives on sexual energy, he knows she is the one because his dreams have changed from dark hair to a specific blonde. However, though she relishes the heights of passion he brings to her, she has doubts that a Halfbreed can be destiny's darling for the Klatch and the Cunts.

The third "Seduction" erotic romantic science fiction (see VISIONS OF SEDUCTION and CEREMONY OF SEDUCTION) is a terrific thriller with some paranormal elements enhancing the exciting story line. The lead couple is a delightful pairing in and out of the boudoir as they feed off of each other while also encouraging one another. Readers will be seduced by Cassie Ryan's enticing sexual healing (Marvin Gaye style) "Seduction" science fiction saga. http://www.amazon.com/review/RO4UY01JNNJ7V/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0758220677#wasThisHelpful

She and her new BFFs (the profanity queen and the retired porn star) bring humorous withering condemnations of Southern California especially men who think with their lower head like Xander. http://www.amazon.com/review/R2785FL19M84N2/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0312540094#wasThisHelpful

The story line is fast-paced from the opening scene when he rescues her and she accuses him of the "penis-eye thing" and never looks back (pun intended). http://www.amazon.com/review/R3FL16261VCV1U/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0061474312#wasThisHelpful

SASHA is a terrific lead character struggling with the hostilities while also being a cock-sure combatant http://www.amazon.com/review/R2DRHMPHEES42E/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=159102787X#wasThisHelpful

His head tells him to keep going as no good deed goes unpunished; but his lower head wins the debate http://www.amazon.com/review/R25O09WV263EGJ/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0765322218#wasThisHelpful

Not for everyone but more than just for those penis envy wanting to play the Game http://www.amazon.com/review/R1MJFW89NRW7IR/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0061911690#wasThisHelpful

Over the top of Telegraph Hill, make that Coit Tower as being more symbolic, these heated novellas star experienced women who make the penises of men salivate. OURS FOR THE NIGHT contains three equatorial hot erotic tales that can be summed up by Noelle's friend Isabel who suggests she try bukkake with five to six men jacking off on her naked body instead of vanilla ice cream. Fans of erotica that run the gamut will enjoy spending the night with these courtesans. http://www.amazon.com/review/R36AV1KKGDMAY1/ref=cm_aya_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0425229998#wasThisHelpful

Embee said...

Buck,

My brain just imploded. The men in white are picking me up today and taking me to the funny farm. I will be shot full of drugs and live happily ever after.

Dona said...

BUCK,
That is amazing. There are even more than I ever suspected.

Maybe someday she will post one of these on a book meant for middle schoolers.
That would get some ones attention!

I was thinking how speed reading (Ha Ha) doesn't really translate into speed 'writing' either.
Great work.

buck210 said...

Some more new stuff:

who discovers the ecstasy of first hand (tongue, etc) vaginal research link

a twice divorced mother of two (Tag and Jordie) at the bar she works as her first ex says in a "tits for tips" job link

His confident since early puberty is his stand erect penis who always talks back link



She does no care about revising her dead marriage as she knows it collapsed due to her cheating spouse's wandering penis link

Unlike his partner wallowing in the piss past link



unless he can overcome his lower head need for his new Mistress link

as he rides with more blood in his lower head than his upper head link

He goes to the bar and abducts her; taking her into the San "Bernfuckadino" Mountains. link

Embee said...

Buck,

You are ARE amazing.

Just when you think it can't get any worse . . .

Dona said...

YES!:
San Bernfuckadino was my favorite for your posts yesterday!
Amazing, simply amazing.

Also , Have there been fewer "reviews" this month?
Seems like it. I only started writing down numbers on the 8th of sept.

buck210 said...

Found new stuff, check 'em out.

Sara said...

Buck,

Your compilation is absolutely amazing!

I am thoroughly disgusted with Harriet. Just when you think she can't get any worse, she finds a way to raise your Disgust-Meter.

I believe my sex organs curled themselves into a pretzel out of pure revulsion!

If only Sigmund Freud were alive, Harriet would have been his favorite subject!!

buck210 said...

More new stuff.

buck210 said...

More new stuff 10/17