Friday, December 9, 2011

Mischugene Old Yenta Dethroned at last: Harriet Klausner no longer No.1

Unless it's a bug that will soon be fixed, Amazon removed the "classic" reviewer ratings: what used to be called "new reviewer ranks" is now the only rank displayed on the site. Aaaaand, our dear Harriet is no longer No.1 however you look at it. She's the proud owner of the rank 815 (as of this moment). This is still about a million times too high, but, well, wow, come on, let us celebrate what we can.

Not only did she lose her absurd topmost place, but her new-style ranking, uncharacteristically, went down a couple of hundred places in the last month or so (she had been bobbing between 650 and 700 for a few years prior to that, submerging a bit and then promptly being rescued (by the Klausner Protection Squad? who knows...)). To be honest, I did not believe Amazon would make such a step, ever (PD Harris did insinuate it as a given long ago, and dayum!, he was right... 'course that was accidental, so let's not make too much of this). Matter of fact, I thought they (Amazon) might introduce even more parallel hierarchies, so as to enable everyone and their sister to be No.1 in some dimension of this multidimensional universe of bullshit all-five-star reviewing.

Well, it's always a pleasure to be proven wrong like that. Today's a good day then: while "the witch" isn't really dead, she's no longer the No.1 witch. Good bye, Harriet, dear, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. 'Cause that'd be very "action-packed" and, as followers of the "subgenre", we would "relish". Over the top of the Empire State building, if you know what I mean.

And now, boys and girls, let us hold hands and chant:
Harriet Klausner sat on a wall,
Harriet Klausner had a great fall.
All the publishing industry shills and all the useless scribblers with fake posting accounts
Couldn't put Harriet Klausner back on top of the wall.


O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

9 comments:

Thomas "Duffbert" Duff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thomas "Duffbert" Duff said...

VERY cool! While I lost my #57 in the old system and am now floundering at #139 or so, I'm more than willing to have that in order to see Harriett become a bad memory.

Mark said...

Don't celebrate too much. They have no instituted the "Hall of Fame" badge for those of us whose long term work to the site they no longer value. And they have a special badge for the four people who have hit #1 over the years, Harriet and the three people in the new ranking system.

So Harriet shall forever be "#1 Hall of Fame Reviewer" or something like that.

Malleus said...

Ah crap, yeah. You're right. Well, at least, she's also a "top 1000 reviewer" which means she's nowhere near the top and below 500. And if her descent into Hades continues unabated, she'll soon be not a top reviewer at all. But the "hall of fame" garbage is there, and you're right. It's very low of them. Well, I guess, Jeff the Bozo hasn't been very profitable lately, so he cannot bring himself to dispense completely with cheesey frauds like Klausner. At least he made one step in the right direction. It only took what, twelve years of Klausner defecating into his site for that to take place, so let's be thankful it's not quarter century.

Tom, sorry for your loss (my old-style rank also was higher than the new-style one), but otoh, who cares what our rating are. They only matter to people who try to use them as a specious authority device in order better to BS the browsing public into parting with their money. You and I are not like that, so they can give us any numbers they want; I could care less if it's fifty billion.

Thomas "Duffbert" Duff said...

ok... I'm not sure 50 billion would be acceptable, but I get your point. :)

It's far less a focus point for me than it used to be. Yes, I still read 100+ books a year, and I still enjoy writing. But I've also been co-author on two tech books over the last two year, so I've been on the other side of the review equation also.

Now perhaps the form letters from authors asking me to review their book since I'm a "top reviewer" will slow down a bit.

Malleus said...

Lol, the letters, yeah -- we get them here all the time: these dickheads don't even bother to check what HKAS is about before smashing us with their media kits (sometimes quite sizeable). Which, I must say, is a sign of disrespect, before anything else -- after all, they're trying to lay claim to our -- and even our Goddess's! -- time w/o spending any of theirs at all. (This was a nice W.Boudvillean fragment, wasn't it). I'm tempted to post some of these missives, but I feel awful embarrassing people like that (though, otoh, they deserve it, no?). Even a tiniest exposure to the internal workings of the publishing industry makes one sad and hopeless of humanity. How the hell did all these people decide scribbling is a paid profession, to begin with? 99.9(9)% of them can't even scribble, and as far as having something to say, it's even worse. Well, in much wisdom is much sorrow, so let's not get too deep into it.

Mark said...

I get those all the time, too. I always laugh when I get one for a genre I don't normally read and review, and yet the author is sure, based on my reviews, that I would just love their book.

Really? Have you looked at what I have reviewed?

Thomas "Duffbert" Duff said...

I'm sure there's a "how to" somewhere on how to get publicity for your book, and they have a form email to use as a "pattern". I've gotten a fair number of these in the past six months that are basically "fill in the blank" sent to all "top reviewers". Those are pretty much rejected completely. It's those who actually put some thought into the request and appear to have actually checked out my blog and such who end up getting consideration...

And even then... my huge to be read/reviewed piles make me feel guilty for accepting "just one more". :)

Malleus said...

Yup, yup, that's it, form letters. Mass-mailed feel. As to books to review, I'd never accept a book for reviewing. I have no time to read everything of even what I myself definitely do want to read: how could I find time (and I would have to?) to read according to someone else's program. And then to have to review it? And my motivation for this self-rape is what? Saving thirty bucks on this book? No. If I want a book, I'll buy it myself (or borrow in the library), will read it (or not), and maybe review it -- if I feel like it; when I feel like it. I only live once, 90% of what's published is unmitigated crap, a good half of it fraudulent to begin with (rather than an honest failure), and so in one's reading one must be ruthlessly selective. Only once in my life did I agree to review a (then) future book by an author whose books I liked -- and that was an error on my part, but I was saved from having to deliver on my promise by the fact that his book never did come out in the end. Since then I thought of it and decided that I won't do it, period: it's just unrealistic, so I don't even have to think of it now.