Authors Diss on
Harriet
All quotes have been verified, taken from the
authors’ webpages, blogs, and group discussion strings. Each quote has been confirmed to be that of
an authentic, published author of books.*
“a
very sloppy and inaccurate reviewer”
“all she had to do was read the back blurb, the
promo material, and one or two lines of the actual book)”
“Anyone
willing to point to extremely good or extremely bad reviews of their work? Harriet Klausner doesn’t count!”
“As for WTF, well, Harriet Klausner reviewed my
book.”
“famous
for making huge errors in her reviews.”
“Harriet Klausner annoys me because her reviews are
‘puff’ without any real insight.”
“Harriet Klausner makes all book reviewers look bad
and her reviews are total crap”
“Harriet
Klausner strikes again. . . she does seem to have
misremembered the spellings of the character names a tad”
“I
can't profess to fully understand what was written in that review or why it
sounds like it was dictated to a drunken Swede”
“I hope I never ‘get Klausnered’."
“I
love that Klausner, really I do — but I often find the same thing, that she’s
been um, imprecise on some of the details”
“I personally find her reprehensible”
“I just read her review on
Barnes&Noble.com, for my latest Victorian Romance, released two days ago, but
and she has the plot all wrong. No way could she have read the book. I
appreciate the five stars, …”
“I
suggest that you do not build expectations for [*book name*] upon her final
paragraph of this review”
“I think she's kind of funny.”
“I would, however, like to correct some misleading
information in her review. . . . To
suggest that she doesn't is simply not true.
. . . This oversimplification of
the plot doesn't do justice to the book.
. . . I felt the need however to
correct some misinformation that could lead to moral judgements that would
simply be untrue.”
“I’ve already been
Klausnered. As usual, she gets some of
the details wrong (for values of “some”, that means ‘most’)”
“if she ever reviews one of my books, I'll know to
hit the ignore or giggle button”
“Ignore the poor sentence construction, grammar,
detours from the actual plot and so on”
“I'm not sure where the number 13 came from. Maybe
the pack grew when I wasn't looking”
“I'm the author and I agree.
This thing is like a google translation from another language. Wish they'd get
rid of it”
“it contains major spoilers
that I think will harm the experience of reading the book”
“it
will be written by someone with some professional reviewing qualifications--as
opposed to, for instance, Harriet Klausner.”
“It’s
a pretty standard Klausner review, which means spoilers, strange details that
don’t completely match the book, and one or two spots where she tries too hard
to be clever.”
“it’s
got all the crunchy goodness you've come to expect from a Klausner review, from
illogical sentences in badly translated English, to spoilers.”
“Klausner
is kind of like the first robin of spring. Her song might be a little off-key after the
long winter”
“Klausner
just rewords.”
“Ms.
Klausner, for God's sake! I'd appreciate the 5-star rating more if I thought
you'd actually read the book..”
“she
called my character an exotic dancer and pretty much made it look like she was
turning tricks on the side. That’s so the opposite of the storyline I’m
appalled.”
“She
gave 5 stars to possibly the worst book I ever read -- it was virtually
unreadable”
“she
gave away plot twists that were intended to shock the hell out of readers.”
“she got the title of my book wrong in my last
review from her.”
“She just has some pathological need to be ‘famous’.”
“She posts anything up to six reviews a day. Which would be irrelevant if her reviews were
in any way insightful or even useful.”
“she reviews a, um,
suspiciously high number of books every day, and–well, Google her if you’re
interested. I’m just amused.”
“Sometimes her reviews are so off base I'm stunned
they are posted at all”
“Sometimes
she gives a lot of spoilers, and sometimes she hasn't read the same book you
wrote”
“That’s lying and it’s dishonorable
(*cough*HarrietKlausner*Cough*),”
“the
"reviewer" didn't bother to read my story and appears to be doing a
Harriet Klausner.”
“the
multitude of errors in her ‘reviews’, along with the sheer number of them, made
it obvious that she skimmed at best, read back cover copy at worst, and
apparently confused one book for another (given the number of wildly inaccurate
plot details)”
“There are bad reviews and
then there’s Harriet. I’ve had several (one with a
spoiler that almost made my head explode) but I’ve never had one quite this … special.”
“There’s the usual (possibly
slightly incoherent) one from Harriet Klausner.”
“this
review (posted on November 17) contains no new information and several huge
mistakes.”
“This shouldn't happen. This kind of ‘reviewing’ is dishonest, it
devalues all reader reviews and makes a mockery of the whole process.”
“to get what I mean, all she had to do was read the
back blurb, the promo material, and one or two lines of the actual book”
“Unbelievable.”
“What's a formic? According to dictionary.com, it
means ‘of or pertaining to ants.’ There are no ants in my story. . . .
“And
all I can say is WTF????”
“When I see her reviews, I ignore them, because in
my humble opinion, they are meaningless.”
“why does Amazon continue to
support/acknowledge such a clearly impossible performance”
*Authors’ names and references have not been included in order to
protect their right to privacy.
