Krysztofiak, M. "Harriet apologeticus demonstrates markedly inefficient survival mechanisms when transported to hostile environments possessing relatively more selection pressures than native habitat: Is this species-wide apoptosis? The Journal of Abnormal Psychology and Maladaptive Social-Group Matrices. 2007: No. 44, pp. 1431-1439.
Harrieticus apologeticus is an omnivorous, indigenous animal ubiquitous to the digital plains of the Internet. This fascinating animal has again been noticed by scientific circles, following an extended quiescent period, when several researchers discovered that this ordinarily quite docile and relatively unimportant little creature had, world-wide, begun to display signs of anxiety and tremulousness, without apparent identifiable stimuli. Observations from across the globe--concerning multiple individuals of the species--showed heightened agitation, bizarre reactions to apparently normal stimuli, and actions inconsistent with increased biological fitness in present environments (i.e., animals were shown to engage in actions with profoundly negative consequences to the preservation of their health, and the health of their kin-group relative animals).
Reproduction is accomplished via two methods: direct cerebral parasitism and asexual budding. Sporadic reports of sexual reproduction of H. apologeticus permeate the scientific literature, but remain unproven for lack of sufficient empiric testing. Specimens have been brought into controlled environments and provided with a wide selection of "clip art," which has been surmised to stimulate sexual excitement in members of the species. Despite repeated experiments, ample "clip art" message exchanges, and obvious individual H. apologeticus sexual arousal, all animals remained physically aloof in regards to copulation with another member of the same species.
All individuals brought for vivisection have revealed hermaphroditic genital structures, suggesting that individuals, should sexual reproduction be possible, most likely copulate with themselves as the third mode of gene transmission.